Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Day of Wishes and Regrets...But There is Hope

Sometimes I look back on my life with a twinge of sadness because of all that I have taken for granted; all that I’ve had and never appreciated. The opportunities I let slide by because I was too wrapped up in doing my own thing to recognize a good thing when I had it in my grasp. 


Age does funny things to a person. I now see things so differently than I did as a youth, and I’ve begun to wish that I had seen clearly way back when. I wish I’d known what a special person my Dad is when I was growing up. I wish I’d realized what an enormous and awesome responsibility it was for him to be the sole provider for five children and a wife. Had I known about his choleric temperament, then perhaps I would have realized that he was showing us how much he loved us by working the graveyard shift in a hot factory, then coming home and keeping up at least one other business, and sometimes one or two other money making ventures as well. I wish I had appreciated his faith, his perseverance, his wishes for his children to serve the Lord, instead of being resentful that he took me to church twice on Sunday, on Wednesday night, and every day of revival. In order to get our allowance, we had to memorize a Bible verse. I wish I’d tried harder to memorize more, and to get it deep into my heart and soul. I wish I knew the scripture like he does.


I’ve never known my parents to lie, cheat, or steal. Never, ever. I can look anyone in the eye and tell them the persons you see at church, in public, or anywhere else are the very same people you would see if you spied on them at home. I am blessed beyond measure, and I’ve always had this special blessing in my parents, but I wasted many years not appreciating it. It’s one of my regrets. 


My mother is one of a kind. I wish I’d realized what depth the woman has when I was living at home, and even when I finally moved out after graduating college. What a help she has been to me over the years. She is so selfless and giving. Had I followed her guidance instead of rebelling, I would have saved myself a world of heartache. She is the best example I could ever give of what a true Christian woman should be; and the fact that she would vehemently deny that statement only proves it more. She is fiercely loyal to her God and to her family. She is the one person that I trust more than anyone else in this old world. (Though I must say that I also fully trust my dad.) 


I wish I had appreciated my brothers and sisters more…though some of them were hard to appreciate!! lol But I wish I’d tried harder to be a better sibling to them all. I still lack in that department. I have the two most wonderful sisters that anyone could ever ask for…I don’t always appreciate them like I should. I wish I were closer to my brothers, but life often gets in the way. Perhaps one day. I am blessed that they are all in my life.  


I wish my daughter had as good a mother as I have, and I regret that I have not been able to be a better parent. I love her so much more than I can express. 


Above all…I wish I’d served my Lord and Savior from my childhood. This is my greatest regret. I wish I had not turned my back on Him for those many years. How I wish I were able to, on Judgment Day, stand before His throne and say, “Lord, I’ve served you since my youth. I have loved You always.” I made a promise to Him yesterday that I would live the rest of my days walking closer to Him. I intend to keep that promise.

7 comments:

  1. Absolutely beautiful! Nothing can express my comment more...

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  2. hmmm....i thought surely i would be right there at the top as one you can totally trust...and...i know you aren't talking about me when you say some of us were hard to appreciate!!! lol actually....this is an absolutely wonderful piece, i read it and thought...wow. we do have wonderful, Godly parents. great article!

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  3. Beautiful entry. I think all of us who were raised in Christian homes feel the same. And here I thought my parents were the only perfect parents. I was also dragged to church Sunday morning & night as well as Wednesday, so I totally understand. Again...beautiful post. Linda in rainy, windy Washington

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  4. we all have regrets; we can't change the past, but we can press forward with the future so those regrets don't keep chasing us and catching up on us. You are a good mom! you are the one that God wanted/picked for your daughter; don't sell yourself short

    the wonderful thing about our Lord is that he is always forgiving and always ready to welcome us back; furthering his kingdom and making him known should be our biggest desire (along with knowing more about him too)

    I know you will keep your promise

    betty

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  5. What a beautiful post. I too have many regrets, but more concerning my own children. I was way to short tempered and did not take enough time to play with them. I didn´t see the wonderful moments we had, and for that I have many regrets. But as Betty says, we can only look forward. We can do better in the future and for this I´m grateful.

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  6. This is beautiful. I am happy I read it! You should see to it that Mom and Dad have a copy to read. We can not change the past but we can strive to be a better mother, sister, granny, friend, christian now...............
    Mistake, if we learn from them can make us better people.

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  7. There are none of us that are perfect and most all of us fall WAY SHORT in some way or another or even in LOTS of ways if we add them up. God loves us anyway and doesn't even see those things once we've asked forgiveness for them. I, too, was blessed in many ways like you, except my Dad went to heaven quite early (when I was 17) I didn't appreciate my parent's love and sacrifices either... I really doubt that most kids ever do.

    I know I was horrible in many ways to my kids, too, but I try not to look back at my mistakes and just thank God that He has made them into wonderful children of His, too! I am just so thankful that He says we don't have to look at our past other than to learn from it, for He has given us a wonderful future! My job is to live each day for Him as I walk the path He has put my feet on, and it's great to meet so many of His children that are headed the same direction. Linda

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