Monday, November 1, 2010

Another Day 1

November 1..what a terrible day to start a diet, but what a great day to be free! I am just going to stand on His promise, and only look at today. Today, I will not overeat.


There’s an article by Maura Kelly in Marie Claire about fat people. Here are a couple excerpts: 
To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine {sic} addict slumping in a chair.


But ... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.
She issued an apology after she was bashed by her commenters:


People have accused me of being a bully in my post. I never intended to be that — it's actually the very last thing I want to be, as a writer or a person. But I know that I came off that way, and I really cannot apologize enough to the people whom I upset.
I started not to give this chick any more publicity than she already has, but the fact is this: Last week after I read her article (and many of the commenters that gave her what-for) I went out for lunch. I stopped by the local fast food joint and parked in the parking lot at a store I needed to visit, to eat before I went in. Because of that article, when a man parked beside me and let his son out to run into the store, I sat there a moment. Then I moved my car into a spot where he couldn’t see me. I was sure that he would be watching the fat girl eat and be judgmental of me. Maura’s words stayed in my head for two days, because I can’t convince myself that others don’t feel the way she does.


But I was thinking while driving into work this morning about why I have let my weight rule me my whole adult life. Isn’t it just pride that makes me care so much what others think about the way I look? It’s quite possible that others don’t think about me near as much as I think they do, and that would be because I am thinking about myself so much. Realizing that others probably aren’t thinking about my weight issue as much me doesn’t really help how I feel, though.


It is a hopeless feeling when you are in the throes of a binge. When I binge, I don’t do it half way…I keep it going for months! My sister mentioned going to Celebrate Recovery…my good friend Betty has also suggested it. I found a local church that has the program on Thursday Nights, but I am not sure that I will go. It’s a bad attitude, I know, but I just don’t want to fail one more time with one more program. For now, I’m just going to pray about it.


But today…I am going to work more on renewing my mind, and less on renewing my diet.

3 comments:

  1. keeping you in my prayers, Meg. I think Celebrate Recovery could be good but I think your "heart" has to be there, if that makes sense. The pastor who leads CR here has said this over and over again"the program will work for you, if you work the program". But if you aren't ready to be part of a program, I think I'd hold off from it until your mind was set on it, if that makes sense.


    betty

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can only keep plugging and trying. Praying for success. I just need the motivation to exercise and then the eating right comes naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you intuitively know exactly what YOU need... you said so in your very last sentence. To work on renewing your mind.

    These last several weeks when Jim has been off work, and I haven't had that time alone to "renew", and work on my thinking and time alone with God... has really taken a toll. I made the mistake of thinking that any day he will go back, and I will resume my routines.

    And my thinking has suffered. It really does take DAILY input, from God, from positive and uplifting sources... it takes time and effort to change years of squirrelly thinking! And I found out the hard way that it take CONTINUED efforts.

    So I think we are both aiming for the same thing... to work on renewing our minds. :-)

    And I think Betty was so wise in her suggestion... to wait til YOU really want to do that program, and then you will succeed at it. And you will know in your heart when/if that is. No one else. Trust your own intuition, and the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit. You'll know. :-)

    Loretta
    =^..^=

    ReplyDelete

Have musings of your own? Comments are welcome!

Blog Archive