Thursday, April 28, 2011

What a Difference a Day Makes

I do not have the vocabulary to describe how I feel.

I am…
…humbled by God’s mercy.
…in awe of a storm’s fury.
…heartbroken by the devastation.

Yesterday was a day of destruction, fear, and overwhelming loss.   The skies in Alabama were dark and threatening, violent and merciless.    Today, the skies are blue with wispy white clouds…a beautiful day that belies the ruin that befell my fellow Alabamians and Southerners a mere 24 hours earlier.   My beloved Shoals was spared by the Grace of God.   

Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday (Maniacal) Musings…

Dear Pizza Hut:
How can you be out of hand tossed pizza?   Can’t you just hand toss some more?

Dear Music Loving Blogger:
I like your blog, but I don’t like your music.    Usually, I’m listening to my own music or enjoying my moments of silence in a noise-driven world.   It’s no fun having to search your blog for the mute button.

Dear McDonald’s:
I don’t believe that’s sausage in your “sausage biscuit” menu item.   I just really don’t know what that is, but I didn’t eat it.

Dear Catherine:
You "tote" a knife and "pack" heat.   Do I have to teach you everything?   J

Dear Homemade Bread Lover:
Apparently, it’s not a good idea to visit the Amish expecting warm, homemade bread on a blackberry winter day.   There is no bread, warm or otherwise, and not much else.   I forget about the “no electricity” inconvenience.   I did get a wonderful warm peach turnover (right out of the skillet)!   I should have bought me two.  Oh wait!  I did, but Ole Boy thought that was for him and he ate it.

Dear Gentle Reader:
Have you ever noticed how many of my musings are concerning food?   It’s that pesky obsession thing I have going on.   Working on some changes this week.

Dear America:
Is “mother nature” the counterfeit of Father God?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

What happened to last week???

In case you haven’t noticed, my ABC Photo Challenge is extremely unorganized.   Thankfully, that’s not so bad when there’s only 4 or 5 of us doing it.   

I didn’t post for the challenge at all last week.   So, anyone who is interested, we are on J-K-L for this week.  

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A Tale of Miss Lettie

I’ve known Miss Lettie* all my life.  She’s had her share of problems, and though she probably wouldn’t admit it, most of her problems have been direct consequences of the choices she’s made in life.    She’s certainly a character!  Most people don’t know how to relate to her; all they can do is react.   Miss Lettie interprets those reactions as a personal affront, and often feels quite unloved.  

She’s lived a lonely life.   Her one constant “friend” has, in all actuality, been her enemy, and his name is Whiskey.   There are people in this world who know without a shadow of a doubt that the devil lives in the liquor bottle, and their judgment is based on the lives they’ve watched it ruin.  I can understand.

Miss Lettie quit driving some years ago.   Now she must depend on the good hearts who are willing to help her, and at this stage in her life, there’s not a lot of family members able (or willing) to do so.

One day, not so long ago, I heard through the grapevine that Miss Lettie got into a car with a stranger and disappeared.   Ole Boy and I had been out shopping, and it was already dark.  Since she doesn’t have a phone, I couldn’t call to check if she was home safe and sound.   Ole Boy and I decided to drop by and check on her.

I was only going to sneak a peek, because Miss Lettie always wants you to stay and visit a while, and we really wanted to get home.   When I peeked in, I could see her on the floor.  Even though I could see her moving around a little, I knew it couldn’t be good news.    We went in to help her.  She was very confused, a little incoherent at times, and couldn’t get up from the floor.   I said, “Miss Lettie, have you been drinking?”    She assured me she had not.   I said, “Do you promise you haven’t been drinking?”   She promised.   I asked her several more times.   Same response, “Noooo!”

I called 911.  I told them I thought she’d had a stroke.   The ambulance and paramedics came.   The fire department also came.  They asked me if I thought she’d been drinking.  I told them she had been on the wagon for a while, and I really didn’t think she was drunk.    Those sweet people spent about 30 minutes talking to Miss Lettie, trying to figure out what the problem was.  They quickly ruled out stroke.   Finally, one of the neighbors mentioned to Ole Boy that Miss Lettie been asking people to take her to a liquor store.   AhHa!

I whispered to one of the paramedics my new information.   He said, “Miss Lettie, have you been drinking tonight?”  She said, “I’m not going to lie to you, I had a drink or two…”  It was more like a whole bottle.

I was pretty embarrassed.  

*Name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

ABC's of My Town G-H-I

These are Greens…a huge field of them! I can only imagine that someone is using the crop as seed.  This was in Lawrenceburg, TN, about an hour north of The Shoals.  Look at that sky!   This was taken on Saturday, after those horrible storms rolled through the South the day before.

 Sea Gulls


Hydrants at Joe Wheeler Marina

Puts a whole new spin on Hounds-tooth, yes?

 Purple and White Irises

If you'd like to join the fun, find your G-H-I or J-K-L pictures,
and add your name to Mr. Linky!

The Rules:  
  1. All photos should be current, that is, shot in 2011. 
  2. Try to keep the shots as close to home as possible…showcase your area as much as you can...but if you get some great vacation shots, use them!  
  3. It must be your photography. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'm Feeling a Little Molested

This past weekend, I noticed my motion detection security light was out.   I didn’t bug Ole Boy to replace it.   I’m not sure it would have made a difference…

At some time last night, between the hours of nightfall and sunrise, someone got into my car and took what they wanted.   They left a small mess for me to clean up.   One thing they took was Ole Boy’s adapter, which was a handy little thing to have on trips.   All my change is gone…only about $5.00.   I’m not sure what else they took yet.   They left my camera battery and charger…go figure!   Thankfully, I didn’t have much in my car, and they didn’t permanently mess it up.     

Usually I lock my doors.   There are times when I don’t.   I didn’t last night. (I’ll try a little harder to never let that happen again!)  I just really didn’t ever think about someone getting in my car, so I haven’t been diligent to lock my doors.  Ole Boy always locks his.

I ask God every night to protect our lives and our property, our things; then, I run down a list of my family and friends asking for the same thing for them.   I was blessed last night.    There is no need for me to ask God why He let this happen after my asking for protection.   It could have been so much worse.    At any given time, my phone, my camera, my change purse with my whole life (license, debit/credit cards) could be in my car (not so much after last night!).   All of that was safely in my house.   I have to say, “safely in my house” isn’t feeling quite as safe as it felt yesterday.

Although I don’t think God was trying to teach me anything here…I need to work on trusting God.   Right now, I want a security system.  Isn’t that a silly reaction to a few small things taken from my unlocked car? 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

That's Not God...

You can make your choices.
You can’t choose the consequences.

V  If you marry the man all your friends and family begged you to leave alone, when it falls apart, that’s not God trying to teach you endurance.  

V  If you’re in a hurry and you get a ticket going 50 mph in a 35 speed limit zone, that’s not God trying to teach you patience.

V  If you are exposed abusing your position and are publicly embarrassed, that’s not God trying to teach you humility.

V  If you spend time complaining about your job and being critical of your coworkers, when you lose your job, that’s not God trying to teach you to trust Him.

V  If you compromise your health by letting your appetite get out of control and have to go on a strict diet, that’s not God trying to teach you self-control.

V  If you get caught gossiping and people all around are mad at you, that’s not God trying to teach you to love your enemies.

V  If you slap-hazardly do your project, and it has to be done over causing you twice as much work, that’s not God trying teach you perseverance.

V  If you elect ungodly people to run your country, and the economy takes a nose dive…that’s not God…He most likely is standing back and watching you try to do it without Him.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.   Galatians 6:7

Saturday, April 9, 2011

ABC's of My Town D-E-F

Dogwood Bloom

Chicken and Egg Festival



Leiper's Fork Bluegrass Group


I realize it's late in the day for this D-E-F posting....but if you'd like to play along, just post your pictures in your blog (or Facebook) and add your name to Mr. Linky so we can visit.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Finally Friday

I have finally figured out how to get Ole Boy’s real opinion.    Like many new discoveries, I happened upon it accidently.   Yesterday morning while drying my hair, I realized I hadn’t rinsed the conditioner out of my hair.   (That could be a whole different blog for a whole ‘nother day.)    I had two choices:   Get back in the shower and start all over or deal with it.   As it was less than 10 minutes before time to leave, I dealt with it.

On the way out the door, I said, “I think I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair.”   He looked up and said, “Yeah, you are a little frizzy today!”

The normal response to any question about my hair or clothes is, “Yes, you look fine!”  Which, to me, is the equivalent of the ever-sarcastic “yes, Dear” response.  The “fine” answer is sometimes given without his even taking a look.    So, in order to get a true opinion, I must remember to not ask directly, but to make an off-handed remark, and he will feel safe enough to critique.   (Meaning, of course, that I won’t throw myself on the floor and wail in despair because of his requested feedback.)

Photo challenge reminder!
I plan to post mine tomorrow.   It’s supposed to be a beautiful day, and I have already started putting the bug in Ole Boy’s ear for us to go play.   If you want to participate, you can post a picture for any or all letters.  Tomorrow, I’m going to try and use Mr. Linky for an easy way to join…we’ll see how that turns out.

I’m thinking about making a list.   The Brownie List.    Not the same thing as Brownie points, mind you.   I need to think it through a little more…don’t want to get abusive, you know.   ::::heheh::::

Thursday, April 7, 2011

High Fiving Jesus

Monday was a stormy, dreary day.    I hate storms!   

When I got home from work, I thought the storms were over, and I started cooking spaghetti.   Sauce was going, water was boiling…and I realized there were no noodles!    Looking all around, I finally found a box of rotini, and tossed it in the water.    Do you have any idea what happens when you have boxed pasta in your cabinet for a long time?    I do…now.  I sent Ole Boy to the store for some proper noodles, and as he came back, another storm rolled in.   

I was trying to keep up with Dancing with the Stars (that old porn show!) while fixing the spaghetti, and Ole Boy decided the TV needed to be turned off during in the storm.   I was slightly irritated.   Then, as I’m trying to put the finishing touches on dinner, he throws a handful of crumbs into my lunch bag.   I yelled at him, and stomped off leaving him to eat alone.   Obviously, I was only punishing myself with this maneuver, as it was already nearing 8 p.m. because it took so long to fix the spaghetti, and I was pretty hungry.   I snuck back in the kitchen and gobbled some dinner when he was finished.

On Tuesday, I took my daughter and the boys to Birmingham to the Children’s Hospital for their annual visit with the hematologist.   I knew Ole Boy was mad when he left without saying anything to me.   I figured I’d get him back, and I sent him an email as I was leaving that said, “If something happens to me today, don’t feel bad about not speaking to me this morning.”   Then as I got in my car, I realized he had beat me to it by leaving me a voice mail telling me to be careful an hour before!

On the way to Birmingham, I told Les about the night before.   With Les, you have to share her attention with whomever she is texting at the time.   When I told her I’d yelled at Ole Boy for throwing crumbs in my lunch bag, she said, “That was kind of rude.”    I didn’t know if she was talking about Ole Boy and his crumbs or someone who texted her, so I asked her which one.   She said, “You!   Mom, if that was all I had to deal with, I’d just high five Jesus.”

Monday, April 4, 2011

Monday Musings

Dear Olive Garden:
You never fail to disappoint.

Dear Lady:
You named your poor daughter “Delicious.”  I listened to her repeatedly answer the phone, “Thank you for calling Ramada Inn, this is Delicious.  How may I direct your call?”  

Dear Nancy:
The cat is out of the bag.  Gina told on me for mentioning Mom’s temper.  ::::looking around::::  Since we are out in the open, I think I can be brave and give you an example.   Once, my brother was sitting in the floor putting on his shoes, and he was steady sassing her.   Mom was at the stove with a butcher knife, peeling potatoes. (She used that knife for everything!)  Steve wouldn’t shut up, and she finally reached her high-water mark.   She whipped that knife around and popped him on the head with the big wooden handle.   He shut up.    ::::snicker::::

Dear Mom:
I never did figure out how you were able to drive a straight line and still reach in the back seat and…uhm…make my brothers and sisters straighten up and fly right.  (I was in the front seat behaving…always behaving.)

Dear Young Mothers of children everywhere:
When kids in the back seat start singing, “Someone fell out of the car!  Someone fell out of the car!”  It’s probably a good idea to check the rearview mirror for one of your own.   It can happen.  Just ask my mom.  

Dear Children of Young Mothers everywhere:
Don’t beat your fork and knife on the dinner table in unison while chanting, “Grub!  Grub!  We want Grub!   It pushes a mom way past her high water mark.   Ask any of my brothers or sisters.  

Dear America:
How about these current events?  Wars and rumors of wars…earthquakes in diverse places… Don’t forget to pray!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Beware of what you comes back to you!

Several years ago, when I still worked for Mr. Big, I got a phone call.  The man on the other end identified himself as an officer with the local police department.   He told me that my daughter had been arrested for “stabbing her husband in the buttocks” with a pair of scissors.   The officer gave me a detailed description about the incident, and assured me that no drugs were involved. 

The kid and her then-hubby did have a rather volatile relationship, and Les does have a temper…but I was a little shocked.  That kind of violence wasn’t like her.  Of course, in my head I was blaming her hubby…you know, what had he done to provoke her this way?!  While I trying to figure out what to do, getting a little frantic…wondering how to keep her out of jail, I asked about the baby…little Devon.   According to the man, Devon had been picked up by social services.

At that point, Les would just have to stay in jail.  I was going to have to get the baby!    I asked the man how to go about getting Devon…I heard voices in the background, and was finally told it was an April Fool’s joke.

Cruel, yes?

Fast forward about 4 years….the week of April first.   Les was pregnant for the third time.  The boys had been born 14 months apart.   Les was getting an ultrasound, and had invited me to come along.   We were going to find out if it was a boy or a girl!  I called the tech before the appointment, and explained to her that I owed Les a really good April Fool’s joke, and would she be willing to tell Les she was having twins?   She agreed.

During the ultrasound, the tech was craw-fishing on me.   She seemed to not want to tell Les she was having twins.   So, I pointed to the screen, and I said, “What’s that?   That looks like a second heart!”   She hesitated, and I said, “That looks like twins…is that a second baby?”   The tech made a few “er” and “uhm” sounds, which made Les think that she just couldn’t confirm but it must be true, and she was getting a little freaked.   Another funny factor, with these ultrasounds…they are done with a full bladder.   ::::insert wicked giggle::::

I leaned down to Les.  I said, “Do you remember….”  She said, “I don’t want to remember ANYTHING!!!”  I said…”Do you remember a few years back when you had the guy call and tell me he was a police officer?”  She just looked at me.   I said, “You remember that little April Fool’s joke, don’t you?”   She did.   I said, “April Fool!  There’s only one baby!”

:::insert another wicked giggle:::

Blog Archive