Thursday, May 31, 2012

Friday Eve

I was getting ready to post a Friday Fly By when I discovered, much to my dismay, that it is only Thursday.    Friday Eve.   Hmph!   I will do a Thoughtful Thursday instead.  

I am realizing that I am a chronic complainer, it’s more noticeable (to me only, I hope) lately.  I am thinking of working on it.   I'd like to say I'm working on it, but it's kinda like my diet, I'm doing more thinking than doing. 

Anyway, back to complaining, I don't like the beach so much.   But Saturday, I will be headed there with my daughter and my Angels.  I'm leaving Ole Boy at home.   I invited him to go...but if he'd said yes, I would have had to put one of the kids in the trunk.   The cops and DHR don't like that.  Don't get me wrong, I do like the ocean rolling in, the sound of the waves, the salty breeze...but the sand!  I can't stand to be gritty.   I hate that almost as much as being sticky.   I can't abide sticky.   Truthfully, if that's all I have to complain about I should perhaps shut up, yes?

But then, what would I write about?

Ah, I know!   I will write about my feeling of being utterly useless as an adult at times.   Ole Boy's grandson broke his arm at the Children's Museum in Nashville on Saturday.   We had three adults and four kids.   Suddenly, I was the sole supervising adult in this huge museum (three stories!) in charge of three very active (and fast) boys and I was unable to keep up with them.  Completely.  Unable.   But that's not why I was utterly useless.   Ole Boy and his daughter took my car to take Little Bit to the hospital.   I had Jen's car keys, but with absolutely no clue how to get back to the room, keys did me no good.   So, the boys and I stayed (and stayed!) for several hours while Little Bit was getting the care he needed.   He had to have surgery to place some pins in his elbow early Sunday, but he's doing fine.   He's such a sweet little thing.   I really hated that happened to him.    Ole Boy had to come back to the museum to lead me back to the hotel...he drove Jen's car, and I was drove mine.   He was having trouble with the GPS in her car, so I had to take the lead, and I made it back to the room by following the GPS directions in my I wasn't as utterly useless as I thought, I just needed a GPS!

Now if only there were a GPS for life.

Which brings me to my next (and closing) thought:  Florida.  Without Ole Boy.   He is usually both my driver and my navigator.   It makes me a little nervous…about as nervous as this storm system moving through today.   If you're in the Deep South, hunker down.   It's gonna be a long night.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Two Cents Tuesday

I imagine satan and a few of his imps standing around looking at little Charlie Darwin playing with his stuffed sock monkey.   Satan says to his imps, “I bet I can make young Charlie here believe he came from an ape.”    “You’re on!” the imps reply.  Satan won.  Sadly.  Not only did he convince Charles Darwin, he has deceived many, and mainstream media has been more than willing to help him.

The antichrist?
Hopefully, I’ve made no secret that I am a Believer.   A Christian.   I believe in Jesus Christ, who died for my sins and who is my salvation.   I am one in the class of people who, according to main-stream media, it is permissible to “bully,” a word that gets a lot of attention these days.  If you harass a Christian, you are not being a bully, it appears.   I wonder…could mainstream media be the antichrist?   Look at how many people are deceived by their pollution.

In order to truly, totally, completely forgive someone, you can’t put conditions or demands on their behavior in order for them to be back in your good graces.   It ain’t an easy thing to do when you’ve been hurt.  Or angered.  Or embarrassed.

·       It’s “would’ve,” the contraction for “would have;” it is not “would of,” or “could of.”  When we say it, though (especially in the south), it does sound like “of” instead of “’ve.”   
·       Reality TV is the worst culprit of saying “I” when they should use “me.”   In fact, it’s incorrect usage is so commonplace that when “I” is used correctly, people think you’re using bad grammar.   I’ve been known to talk to the TV…they ignore me.  Oh, wait.   “Ain’t” ain’t grammatically correct. 

Is there a fashion commentator somewhere, on some mountaintop, perhaps, who decides the current season's fashion?  Do magazines and designers wait with baited breath for this guru to declare, with his arm lifted and his index finger extended, "This summer, you shall wear polka dots on your shirts and stripes on your skirts!   You shall wear pants that make even the best of bodies look oddly shaped!   You shall wear ugly shoes…no!  Extremely ugly shoes with your stripes and polka dots and ill fitting britches!”   OK, it’s a little far-fetched to think a fashion pundit would say “britches.”   But who decides the present “fashion?”

My coworkers think I’m scary because I understand the Facebook status of a local wanted individual (wanted as in hunted by “the law.”), “I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.”  I thought it was a great status; I now think they are looking at us with worried expressions.   Should I add “paranoid” to that status?

Monday, May 21, 2012

Monday Musings: The Edition

Dear Aldi's:
I wanted to do a little shopping in your store...I've only visited once or twice before.    I knew there were no bags, no name brands, limited selection, I get it.   But, I had to stand in line to get change for a dollar, so that I could get a buggy, only to get back inside and realize my buggy "knocks."   On the plus side, I did realize that I complain too much, and right there in your store, I decided to work on that.  But first....

Dear Flashback Classic Cafe:
There's just no nice way to say's almost like you're trying to push a "northern" way of eating in the Deep South.  Won’t work!  Lose some of the :::shudder::: seasoning in the entrees, warm the rolls and serve them with butter, get the orders right and don't tell me it's a computer glitch when you charge me wrong for a special that you've advertised for two weeks.   On the plus side, the fries are great.

Dear Times Daily:
From the looks of your "You Said It" section, TV listings are important, and you better change it back!    Thankfully, I don't watch enough TV to care.   My addiction is food the internet.  By the way, some of the folks commenting in that section don't seem to have a grip on reality.   On the plus side, some of the commenters make perfect sense.  Too bad you don't publish all of them. 

Dear Food World:
Your high prices sometimes startle me; however, your store is convenient if I'm only buying one or two items.  The fact that more often than not, I cannot get decent ice cream or frozen treats from your store is something I don't understand.   It's like you turn the freezers off for the night and refreeze the next day.   Truthfully, I don't know what it's like...other than a poor excuse for fresh.   You should take tips from Big Star.

Dear Big Star:
You may not have the biggest selection, but you have some of the friendliest employees in the whole Shoals area.  If, indeed, WalMart does move in next to you, of all the doors that may shut, it will be the biggest shame if your store closes.   

Dear Fiesta Mexicana, Petersville:
Good food, great service, friendly people.  Thank you.

Dear Casa Mexicana:
Great food, good service.   Thank you.

Dear America's Car Wash-Florence:
It just stands to reason that if someone is willing to pay you to clean out their car on a rainy day, you'd do it.    It's not like we were talking about washing the outside, and it's not like you weren't available.

Dear Massey Drugs:
I appreciated your friendly service and your patience while I bothered you for printouts for the last year because I didn't keep my receipts and decided it was finally time to file a claim.   You acted like it didn't bother you one bit, and that it was all part of your job, but I know it's not.   Thank you.

Dear Donald Davis:
I really enjoyed your stories at the UNA Front Porch Storytelling Festival.   It's a little like standup comedy, isn't it?   Only cleaner and funnier...and more interesting!   Everyone involved did a such a wonderful job.

Dear Red Lobster:
I used to pay $12.99 for an entree that now costs $17.99.   I no longer order it, and I have gone from eating in your restaurant nearly every Friday night to eating there only once or twice a year.   

Dear Local Bloggers:
Extreme anger makes a person behave irrationally.  When you allow hatred to grow, you give that person, place or thing power in your life.   Don’t you think your time is more valuable than time wasted seeking revenge?   When you quit pointing fingers of accusation, you can make good use of your God-given talents (and you do have talents).   The Lord says, “Vengeance is Mine.”   He doesn’t say “Karma is yours.”

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Six Word Saturday: The Disney Edition

I'm joining Cate's Six Word Saturday today, where you describe your life (or something) in a phrase using only six words.   I cheat every time and give a title only in six words.   I guess it's good I don't play along often, yes?  

My best day in Disney World 

My best day was my mom’s worst day!  Some years ago, our family took a trek to Orlando to visit Disney World in a caravan of campers.   I was 15, thought I was grown, and my cousin Brenda was 13.   I can’t speak for her, but I had a blast.    I was under the impression that because the camp grounds and various parks were all linked by trams and trollies and ferries, that I was free to come and go as I pleased, and to take my cousin with me.

Early one morning, we all headed over to the Magic Kingdom.   As soon as we got through the gates, Brenda and I took off, we didn’t say goodbye to the parents.   We came and went from park to park, our hands were stamped so many times that we were even admitted into a water park that we didn’t pay to enter because they couldn’t tell if we had their stamp or not.   (I didn’t figure that out until later…didn’t do it on purpose.)   I think we hit every place the trams went that day.   When we got hungry, we went back to the campsite, climbed in through the window of the camper, ate, left our evidence that we’d been there (we didn’t clean up afterwards) and continued on with our adventure.

What we didn’t realize is that a 15 year old and a 13 year old really had no business running around all over Orlando alone, nor did we realize that my mom was diligently searching for us.   Her eye was peeled every place they went.   We never saw them…we weren’t looking…but they would pass us on a ferry or on a tram, but Mom couldn’t get to us…maybe she caught sight of us in the park, but couldn’t catch us.   When they finally went back to the campsite around 10 p.m. they saw our evidence…and but still didn’t see us!

I don’t think our dads were concerned at all.   Brenda’s mom was more calm than my mom, and I am certain that’s what saved my life.   (I didn’t even get into trouble, which was a miracle.   I might have killed LesLee for that antic!)   Much to the relief of my mom, Brenda and I finally moseyed back to the campgrounds around 11, greatly worn out and slightly blistered.  I don’t believe we did that again, but it was a great day.

Brenda, Gina, Me

For more Six Word Saturday entries,
Visit Cate HERE!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Thursday Thunderings


Dear Defense Attorney:
A few of us on the front row know you way-yonder more up close and personal than we ever wanted!   Thank goodness for that long girdle…or body shaper…or whatever that was.

Dear Self:
If you pull a shirt out of a musty spare room, you will notice (after you get to where you’re going; unfortunately, not before) that your shirt smells faintly of a musty spare room.   Of course, that may keep the huggers away….but I hope my fellow juror-persons didn’t notice my funny smell.

Dear City Council Members:
Walmart?  People adapt.  But please be aware that they will remember why they were forced to adapt, and you very well may be adapting to not being on the council after the next election.

Dear Walmart:
When Product A sells out week after week after week, and there is always Product B on your shelves, how hard is it to figure out you need more Product A and less of Product B??      

Dear Church Huggers:
Really…not everyone “needs a hug,” I promise ya!!   I speak for Melancholy Compulsives everywhere:  Smile and wave, we will gladly smile and wave back!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Jury Duty Tales

I spent two and a half days on a hard bench surrounded by strangers this week, listening to 99 questions asked 4 different ways by two different attorneys.   Yes, my friends, my first experience with Jury Duty.    I didn’t get chosen for either of the two cases for which I called. 

The first was a high profile murder case.   The mother and family of both the victim and the accused were in the courtroom.  While I may have liked being on a high profile case in theory; in reality, I would not have wanted to be deciding the fate of that young man, a task even more difficult because the families presence.

The second case was a DUI, a felony charge, I believe.   I really didn’t want to be on the case, for no other reason than I was very tired of being at the courthouse listening to attorneys and judges…no matter how attractive one of those judges are!  

I was surrounded by some characters this week.   Mr. A was a sight!   A very opinionated man, unintentionally cracking people up with his antics and tales of experiences only vaguely relating to the questions asked.   There was Ms. C, who for some reason had a flirtation connection with Mr A, who must have been 30 years her senior.   Mr. K, a jury veteran, felt it his duty to inform the DA and the defense attorneys what, exactly, their jobs were.   Mr. W analyzed every question until he confused himself.   Ms. L knew, or was a relative of, every other person involved in the murder case, as was another gentleman…many of his cousins were somehow involved.  

Another lady had close ties to the family and stated up front she could not be impartial.   She was there as long as I was…after we were finally released, she headed back to the courtroom to sit with the family of the accused.

Every time a question was asked, invariably people stood up to relate knowing some of the witnesses from elementary school…40 years ago!  “No sir, I haven’t seen him since 4th grade, and no, it won’t affect my ability to be impartial.”   And Mr. A had so many outrageous comments that after a while, he became more of a nuisance and less of a comedic diversion.   I thought the handsome judge was going to throw him out.   That would have been a livened things up a bit!

What I noticed in both cases was that the people who were picked didn’t answer any questions and had no law enforcement ties or special training.   The man whose many cousins were somehow involved in the first case, made no comments in the second case, and was chosen for duty.   I don’t know who Juror No. 11 was…but he/she was not allowed by the judge to be struck by the defense for the DUI case.  

It is my expert opinion (“expert” by way of the initiation I served on the hard bench and the sometimes cramped quarters of the cold courtrooms) that the silent are the chosen from the venire, and having a good excuse to not serve may not always get you a reprieve.  

And someone really needs to tell a certain defense attorney to wear slacks. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Monday Musings: The Rebuttal Edition

One more reason to be irritated with the new Blogger format is the removal of the “Follow” button on the Navbar across the top of blogs.   The only reason I kept the Navbar on my blog was because of that option…now that it’s gone, the Navbar will be, too, soon.

Now I’ve had to add the Google Friends Connect and (whine, boo! hiss!) I don’t like the silly thing.   Coincidentally, I think Google has entirely too much information about The Brown Recuse as it is, anyway.

I usually follow blogs anonymously.   That way, I can “unfollow” if I decide the blog content is not a good match with my reading preferences with no feelings hurt, no questions asked.   I have found that some folks feel obligated to follow me or comment back if I follow or comment.  I do, however, like interaction, and I often email (when I have that option) commenters.   I scan a lot of blogs, I comment on very few.  

There are some blogs I’d like to comment on occasionally…but…heheh…they wouldn’t like what I had to say.  

Having said all of that…here are some Monday Musings…

Dear Lean Cuisine:
You finally came up with a lunch that is decent tasting in your Tortilla Crusted Fish.   If you could just do something about that sodium content now…

Dear Scales:
2.6 pounds down…going in the right direction!

Why should taxpayers pay for your birth control or your abortions??    Conservatives don’t want to keep you barefoot and pregnant.   It’s probably a good idea that you don’t reproduce at all…but not by way of abortion.   Liberals are killing our young women before they are able to become young women, our young men, too.    In rebuttal to your "men lawmakers keeping their zippers zipped" statement…women can say “no,” lest we forget that it takes two.   Instead of preaching politics or blaming certain groups, how about preaching some morals and personal responsibility?  Perhaps then, you will have actually done something about those "unwanted children" that have you so worried.

Dear America:
I hope you are remembering to pray for our president.   I hope, as well, that you are praying for the best choice for which to cast your vote.   I admit that it’s not looking too appetizing; but that is all the more reason to vote.   Pray!  No matter who our president is, we need to pray God’s will daily for our leadership.

Dear Self:
Read the above comment and know you’re talking to yourself, too!! know who you are:
You can’t make up your own God.  Thankfully, it just doesn’t work that way.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thursday's Thoughts

  • My first inclination when someone cuts me off in traffic, or tries to run over me, is to say “Idiot!”   I am going to work on just being thankful that God protected me and say “Thank You, God!”
  • Sleep deprivation makes me…well…depraved.    I want to call bad drivers names.
  • It takes so much energy just being me, and I don’t have much left for anything else. 
  • My hairspray is so stiff…lifting one small strand lifts the whole mane.   Not that I’m a horse or a lion. 
  • One-A-Day Multivitamins for Women are big enough to be a horse pill, and just little hard to get down some days.   Today was one of those days.  
  • I gasp in dismay at my typos.   I laugh at yours…
  • …the same can be said for grammatical errors.
  • Why is it every time I go on a diet everyone wants to share cookies and cake with me?   Or…is it just that I really want their cookies and cake?  

Random Photos....
Yes...they really exist..white squirrels.  
This one lives in Indiana

Roaring Fork, Gatlingurg, TN
Roaring Forks, Gatlinburg, TN

Bryson City, NC
Bryson, NC

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