Monday, February 24, 2014

Monday Musings...The Snark Edition

Dear Student:
I felt so sorry for you. All you could do was lie there and cuss, and cuss you did! I know that really hurt. But…uhm…if you’d been watching where you were walking instead of texting, I am almost certain you would have seen the little brick wall that nearly broke your shin bone...because, after all, in your lack of paying attention, you had veered completely off the sidewalk.

Dear Melissa Harris-Perry:
Good grief! You reproduced! Lord, help us all!

Dear Jimmy Fallon:
I get you and Jimmy Kimmel mixed up. Which one of you took Jay Leno’s spot again?

Dear Huff Post:
Why is it that when someone “comes out,” it is headline news for days and days? Is this really any of anyone’s business?

Dear Parent:
Sometimes kids just turn out good despite your lack of effort. I can’t explain it, same way I can’t explain the best intentions produce some troubled teens/adults.

Dear Piers Morgan:
Good riddance! TaTa! Skidaddle! Be gone, and be gone quickly! So happy to be rid of you! Go home! Please don’t come back.

Dear Nashville:
Sorry about all those germs I brought you over the weekend. I really intended to feel much better…I even took a needle in the derrière to speed up recovery (only it didn’t)…and then I picked up something else on top of the cold I already had by the time I got there.

Dear Nashville Relatives:
Yeah…you wouldn’t have enjoyed my company.

Dear Hand Santizer:
I realized as I was slathering up my hands that *I* was the germy one.

Dear Sister:
Don’t tell me! I don’t believe that if I wasn’t using so much hand sanitizer I might not be sick. I haven’t been sick in a good while, but when I do it, I apparently like to do it double-whammy style.

Have a great week, Y’all!

4 comments:

  1. I get the Jimmy's mixed up, too. For w long while, I didn't realize it was two different people. :}

    About the "coming out" celebrations: Makes me think of the verse in the Bible that says in the end times, we will call evil good and good, evil.

    I am almost bewildered by what has happened to our culture. When a 9 year old gives me an impudent attitude one would expect from a 14 year old, I am so surprised--you know, right before I help her to understand what the phrase, "there will be hell to pay" means. But the said 9-year-old watches impudence on TV daily, to laughter and applause on Disney, etc. But it shocks me, nonetheless.

    Which is minor, but a decided symptom of, our culture's rejection of God and His ways as they race to normalize evil.

    Ha. Sorry. Getting a little heavy here, but it's been on my mind all week. Ever since a relative who proclaims the name of Christ had a young woman move in with him. Said relative became quite irate when I said it was not only sin, but a bad example for his two young daughters--who live with him.

    Seems I'm negative and judgmental. He explained that the girl was a Christian, too. "She won't even eat unless we say Grace."

    Oh. Well, then. I stand corrected. aaarrrghhh.

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  2. P.S. Too funny about the student. Could have been a "Funniest Home Video" had you been equipped.

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  3. I often think I know entirely TOO much about pop culture; however, I have no idea who Perry is. I'm about to Google. I'll get back to you.

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  4. Okay...I remember the tampons up the nose. I suppose it could have been something worse...

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