I felt so sorry for you. All you could do was lie there and cuss, and cuss you did! I know that really hurt. But…uhm…if you’d been watching where you were walking instead of texting, I am almost certain you would have seen the little brick wall that nearly broke your shin bone...because, after all, in your lack of paying attention, you had veered completely off the sidewalk.
Good grief! You reproduced! Lord, help us all!
Dear Jimmy Fallon:
I get you and Jimmy Kimmel mixed up. Which one of you took Jay Leno’s spot again?
Dear Huff Post:
Why is it that when someone “comes out,” it is headline news for days and days? Is this really any of anyone’s business?
Sometimes kids just turn out good despite your lack of effort. I can’t explain it, same way I can’t explain the best intentions produce some troubled teens/adults.
Dear Piers Morgan:
Good riddance! TaTa! Skidaddle! Be gone, and be gone quickly! So happy to be rid of you! Go home! Please don’t come back.
Sorry about all those germs I brought you over the weekend. I really intended to feel much better…I even took a needle in the derrière to speed up recovery (only it didn’t)…and then I picked up something else on top of the cold I already had by the time I got there.
Dear Nashville Relatives:
Yeah…you wouldn’t have enjoyed my company.
Dear Hand Santizer:
I realized as I was slathering up my hands that *I* was the germy one.
Don’t tell me! I don’t believe that if I wasn’t using so much hand sanitizer I might not be sick. I haven’t been sick in a good while, but when I do it, I apparently like to do it double-whammy style.
Have a great week, Y’all!