|the fungus among us|
Casting my narrowed eyes
toward the infected, I say,
“I don’t want to be like them!”
(Funny how the acronym for people
offended by offended people is POOP.)
Yes, this…this worm…seems to be taking America by storm! Actually, to call it a worm insults the worm. We'll stick with fungus.
“Do I have it?” You ask yourself
“How can I protect myself?” You wonder.
“What IS IT?” you scream!
I will tell you! It is having one’s Drawers in a Wad.
Nothing is safe from this wedgie effect. From the Starbucks cup to the Washington Redskins; from a Target Christmas sweater to a racist Halloween! How about banned words like bossy, or “sorry not sorry,” because apologizing for not apologizing makes so much sense. Even pronouns are not safe! It may be offensive to be called “she” if one if female, or “he” if one is male.
And words! They can be so offensive! Here are a few examples for you to check your offended meter to see if you have DIAW symptoms because you feel personally insulted:
- If someone says “black sheep” instead of “outcast.”
- If someone says “guys” instead of “friends” or “folks”
- If someone says “girls” instead of “women”
- “Failure” instead of “non-traditional success”
- “Manhole” instead of “utility hole.”
- “Fat” instead of “person of substance” or “horizontally challenged.”
- If someone suggests “adoption” instead of “abortion.”
- If someone believes “creation” instead of “evolution.”
- If someone is “conservative” instead of “liberal.”
People who have DIAW waste a huge amount of precious time carefully watching and listening for the next offense, and too many want a piece of Offended Pie. The First Amendment doesn’t mean you will like everything you hear others say, but it does mean they get to say it. And when they say it, and you don’t like it, that doesn’t always make them racist, discriminatory, or prejudicial. Tolerance doesn’t mean you have to bring them around to you way of thinking. That, my friends, is pseudo-tolerance.
If you find yourself offended every day by what others say,
you are paying too much attention to others' words.
Disengage! Walk away!
Go have some fun somewhere!Is it more acceptable for a person to act like an idiot than it is for someone to point out that they are idiotic? (And then be left to wonder if it’s really just an act.) My first instinct for the is to help them in their offense, because if some whines about some silly word like “bossy,” I find I want to toss it into my conversation as much as possible. I don’t always act on my first thoughts, thankfully.
What should we do when confronted with someone who is in obvious throes of DIAW? Rise above it. Ignore them if you can. If not, treat them with respect, or just take them to Starbucks because, as we all know, the most important thing that happened this week was a red Starbucks cup.